Expecting Her

Publié le 24 Décembre 2015

Eventually came the call so long awaited… and yes it was I and yes I was…

We agreed to meet at our earliest convenience…

And I’m waiting… expecting her now… the music is like hovering about the place… and I’m like floating… dizzy… drunk yet I haven’t drunk… my mind is toing and froing… going places… hither and thither… in and out of my head…

She’s there not knowing what to do… where to look… and I don’t know what to do… anything could happen now… any minute now something will happen… something’s bound to happen… something has to happen… but she turns away… about to go away… but no… well… yes she’s seen me… she’s moving… not moving… reminiscing… standing her ground… should I go over… will she come over… and I’m about to go… to Rome or Rio… take her to the other end of my life…

Havana having a rethink… she makes a beeline for me… almost passes me by and asks ‘Are you …? YES ! I say… she bends over to give me a peck on the cheek and I reach out for her… and I think people will think I’m a sugar daddy meeting his protégée…

She sits down and smiles… and I feel miles apart… miles away… over in the corner there’s a group or a family who look like they’re out for a grand night at the opera for the first time… and I’m looking at my little diva… in glad rags…

I’m trying to focus… next to us there’s a couple at a table… he’s old enough to be his grandfather and Adonis keeps making eyes at me… she’s talking… and I don’t know what she’s talking about… Paris bar full of stars… Yes… I say… so we meet at last… and I’ve got two angels smiling at me… he’s raising his hopes… and I’m raising mine both ways…

What man will she find in me ? What man is she expecting from me ? Will she confide in me ? What girl will I find in her ? What am I expecting from her ? I feel like getting up and go but my butt is glued to the armchair… I’m grounded… run aground… she’s my anchor on this unruly sea… And she drops the bomb…

So what did you expect ?

A million things race through my mind… my brain is being hard boiled… you never know with women… you say one thing and they don’t like it… you say the other and the get the wrong of the stick… the idea of returning the question crosses my mind… but no, that would be too easy… ‘I dunno, I say… I’m not the expecting kind… expectations are wasted on me… I tend to take things and people as they come’…

Nothing ? Nothing at all ?

I didn’t expect you… I know that may not be the best thing to say… and certainly not pleasant to the ear… but truth be told I didn’t… I have to get used to the idea…

So I’m an idea…

I laugh… no, you’re not’…

She laughs…

If I was treading on thin ice, the ice is certainly broken… we talked for hours life art philosophy religion spirituality… while cleverly manoeuvring to avoid the issue… misused sociability… social politics… your guess… time passes us by… we’ll have get a taxi now… oh no we’ll have to meet again… when… where… and I’m beginning to wonder why… this girl here my girl and not my girl… needs to see the other half of the world… only I don’t hold the map… no compass…

Do I like her… don’t I like her… I don’t know… it’s not as if I had the choice… an option… things are as they stand… what you see is what you get…

I cannot take her for granted and yet I have to take her as she comes…

My telephones rings… I let it ring…

Aren’t you gonna take the call ?

I know the trick… all women play it… she’s dying to know about me… who am I ? Do I live alone ? Children ? Competition ? But I don’t play that game… she’s just gonna have to bear with the old sea wolf she has got for the time being… women build… design… scheme… men are gardeners… they take their life where they find it… or most of them… ‘cause I don’t…

I suppose we’d better meet again

Oh that’s nicewe’d better then’… the cheek on the girl… but I like that in a person… it never upsets me… it shows character… and I like character…

Yes we’d betterbut it for your sake… we laugh…

you bet !


in Expecting Her

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Littérature - Literature

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