Publié le 21 Janvier 2016

I submitted a piece of my writing for an inclusion in an anthology a few months ago… and they wrote back to say how the appreciated the originality of my work… and recently I got en email from them telling me that my work was too original to be included… and thanking me…

I sat back and wondered

Where would the world be today if somebody had told God his creation was too original ?

Where would man be today if somebody had told Abraham his idea was to original ?

Where would religions be today if people had told Moses, Jesus and Mohammad their ideas were too original ?

How would we travel today if somebody had told Clement Ader, William Boeing and Henry Ford their ideas were too original ?

How would we communicate today if somebody has told Gram Bell, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs their ideas were too original (although somebody obviously thought Nikola Tesla’s ideas were too original) ?

Where would science be today if somebody has told Marie and Pierre Curie, Louis Pasteur and Albert Einstein their ideas were too original ?

Where would philosophy and psychology be today if people had told Soeren Kierkegaard, René Descartes and Sigmund Freud their ideas were too original ?

Where would painting be today if somebody had told Henri Matisse, Joan Mirò and Amedeo Modigliani their ideas were too original ?

Where would music be today if somebody had told Wolfgang Mozart, Philip Glass and Antonio Vivaldi their ideas were too original ?

… for better of for worse…

Originality kills but not always… and fortunately so…

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Littérature - Literature

Publié le 1 Janvier 2016

Réponse à une réclamation chez Hippopotamus

Cher Hippopotamus,

Merci de votre réponse à ma réclamation… que j’ai trouvée du plus mauvais goût !

En effet, en tant fils et neveu de restaurateurs, me voir ‘offrir’ deux desserts pour mon prochain passage dans votre restaurant ne peut que relever du second degré ou de la mesquinerie…

Je n’en ferai bien sûr pas usage… votre carton est déjà à la poubelle… et je ne compte plus depuis longtemps les repas pris dans vos restaurants depuis plus de 30 ans… ni le nombre de personnes auxquelles j’ai fait découvrir votre chaine… depuis votre premier restaurant, je crois, Paris Halles…

Vous m’offrez deux desserts… que je ne prendrai pas étant diabétique et n’ayant jamais eu le bec sucré… pas plus que je ne fais la mendicité… je peux payer mes repas… comme je l’ai fait depuis le début… au point de déjeuner chez vous le midi pendant une longue période… et en consultant ma carte vous remarquerez que je suis encore régulièrement dans vos restaurants…

Si j’avais eu une réclamation dans mes restaurants j’aurais de toutes façons offert au moins deux repas et le champagne ! Et non pas inviter le client mécontent à… venir dépenser plus d’argent chez moi pour l’aumône de deux desserts…

Le spécialiste de la communication que je suis peut vous assurez que votre démarche est très mal venue et à déconseiller… et je ne manquerai pas d’y faire la publicité qu’elle mérite…

Jesse CRAIGNOU

PS : J’espère bien que le présent courrier ira jusqu’au bureau du directeur du siège…

Continuez de me lire

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Réclamations et Service Clients

Publié le 24 Décembre 2015

Eventually came the call so long awaited… and yes it was I and yes I was…

We agreed to meet at our earliest convenience…

And I’m waiting… expecting her now… the music is like hovering about the place… and I’m like floating… dizzy… drunk yet I haven’t drunk… my mind is toing and froing… going places… hither and thither… in and out of my head…

She’s there not knowing what to do… where to look… and I don’t know what to do… anything could happen now… any minute now something will happen… something’s bound to happen… something has to happen… but she turns away… about to go away… but no… well… yes she’s seen me… she’s moving… not moving… reminiscing… standing her ground… should I go over… will she come over… and I’m about to go… to Rome or Rio… take her to the other end of my life…

Havana having a rethink… she makes a beeline for me… almost passes me by and asks ‘Are you …? YES ! I say… she bends over to give me a peck on the cheek and I reach out for her… and I think people will think I’m a sugar daddy meeting his protégée…

She sits down and smiles… and I feel miles apart… miles away… over in the corner there’s a group or a family who look like they’re out for a grand night at the opera for the first time… and I’m looking at my little diva… in glad rags…

I’m trying to focus… next to us there’s a couple at a table… he’s old enough to be his grandfather and Adonis keeps making eyes at me… she’s talking… and I don’t know what she’s talking about… Paris bar full of stars… Yes… I say… so we meet at last… and I’ve got two angels smiling at me… he’s raising his hopes… and I’m raising mine both ways…

What man will she find in me ? What man is she expecting from me ? Will she confide in me ? What girl will I find in her ? What am I expecting from her ? I feel like getting up and go but my butt is glued to the armchair… I’m grounded… run aground… she’s my anchor on this unruly sea… And she drops the bomb…

So what did you expect ?

A million things race through my mind… my brain is being hard boiled… you never know with women… you say one thing and they don’t like it… you say the other and the get the wrong of the stick… the idea of returning the question crosses my mind… but no, that would be too easy… ‘I dunno, I say… I’m not the expecting kind… expectations are wasted on me… I tend to take things and people as they come’…

Nothing ? Nothing at all ?

I didn’t expect you… I know that may not be the best thing to say… and certainly not pleasant to the ear… but truth be told I didn’t… I have to get used to the idea…

So I’m an idea…

I laugh… no, you’re not’…

She laughs…

If I was treading on thin ice, the ice is certainly broken… we talked for hours life art philosophy religion spirituality… while cleverly manoeuvring to avoid the issue… misused sociability… social politics… your guess… time passes us by… we’ll have get a taxi now… oh no we’ll have to meet again… when… where… and I’m beginning to wonder why… this girl here my girl and not my girl… needs to see the other half of the world… only I don’t hold the map… no compass…

Do I like her… don’t I like her… I don’t know… it’s not as if I had the choice… an option… things are as they stand… what you see is what you get…

I cannot take her for granted and yet I have to take her as she comes…

My telephones rings… I let it ring…

Aren’t you gonna take the call ?

I know the trick… all women play it… she’s dying to know about me… who am I ? Do I live alone ? Children ? Competition ? But I don’t play that game… she’s just gonna have to bear with the old sea wolf she has got for the time being… women build… design… scheme… men are gardeners… they take their life where they find it… or most of them… ‘cause I don’t…

I suppose we’d better meet again

Oh that’s nicewe’d better then’… the cheek on the girl… but I like that in a person… it never upsets me… it shows character… and I like character…

Yes we’d betterbut it for your sake… we laugh…

you bet !


in Expecting Her

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Littérature - Literature

Publié le 24 Décembre 2015

Arriva enfin le coup de fil désespéré tant espéré… et oui c’était moi et oui c’était bien moi…

Nous décidâmes de nous rencontrer au plus tôt…

Et me voilà là… à l’attendre… la musique semble planer au-dessus de nous… et je me sens comme flotter… comme du bois flotté… au gré des vagues au gré du vent… ivre et pourtant n’ayant pas bu… mon esprit va et vient… allant et repartant au dehors tant qu’au-dedans de ma tête vide…

Elle apparaît là-bas comme désemparée… ne sachant ni que faire ni où aller… ou regarder… et ne sais que faire… si l’appeler… à tout moment maintenant quelque chose peut se passer… quelque chose va se passer… quelque chose doit se passer… mais elle se retourne hésitante comme prêt à repartir… à tout abandonner… sans pour autant perdre de terrain… irais-je la rejoindre… lui jeter la bouée qu’elle m’a tendue… et déjà me voici prêt à embarquer pour Rome ou Rio… et l’emporter jusqu’à l’autre bout de ma vie…

Havane hésitante entre le passé et le présent… elle fonce finalement droit sur moi… passe presque sans me voir… et me demande ‘Êtes-vous… tu… ?’ ‘Oui…’ répondis-je avant même d’entendre sa question… elle se penche vers moi et dépose un baiser sur ma joue… je me tends vers elle et lui rend la pareille… et je pense que tout l’établissement va maintenant me prendre pour un satyre venu rencontrer sa jeune proie…

Elle s’assied et sourit… et je me sens déjà tant embrassé qu’embarrassé… embarqué… en partance… là-bas dans le coin il y a un groupe ou une famille… qui semble se croit à une grand soirée d’opéra pour la première fois… et je regarde ma diva en blue jeans…

J’essaie tant que je peux de me concentrer… à la table voisine il y a deux hommes… l’un semble assez âgé pour être le grand-père de l’Adonis qui n’arrête pas de me regarder en souriant… elle parle et je retrouve son monde… le bar parisien déborde de monde venu pour voir et venu pour être vu… sauf nous… ‘Oui… dis-je nous nous trouvons enfin’… et j’ai deux anges en face de moi qui sourient… il commence à se faire des illusions et je commence à m’en faire pour nous deux…

Quel homme trouvera-telle en moi ? Quel homme attend-elle de moi ? Se confiera-t-elle à moi ? Quelle femme trouverai-je en elle ? Qu’attendais-je d’elle ? J’ai une furieuse envie de me lever et de partir… mais je suis de plomb et mon corps semble vissé à mon fauteuil… touché coulé… ma seule bouée sur cette mer démontée c’est bien elle… je rame… je suis à la ramasse… et c’est là qu’elle lâche la bombe…

Alors qu’attendais-tu ?

Un million de choses me traversent l’esprit à la vitesse lumière… j’ai l’impression que mon cerveau est plongé dans l’eau bouillante… on ne sait jamais avec les femmes… vous dites une chose et elle n’apprécient pas… vous en dites une autre et elles prennent tout à l’envers… et si l’idée de lui retourner la question m’interpelle ce serait trop facile…

Je ne sais pas… répondis-je… je ne suis pas le genre à m’attendre à quelque chose… et les devinettes ne sont pas mon fort… je prends les gens comme ils sont…

Rien ? Rien du tout ?

Je ne m’attendais pas à toi… je sais que cela peut être dur à entendre… et pas plaisant mais c’est pourtant la vérité… je dois me faire à l’idée de toi…

Ainsi je suis une… idée…

J’éclate de rire… Non tu n’es pas une idée’

Elle rit de concert…

Si je devais briser la glace je venais certainement de la briser… nous avons parlé pendant des heures… la vie… l’art… la philosophie… la religion… la spiritualité… tout en manoeuvrant pour éviter l’essentiel… délit de courtoisie… à vous de voir… le temps passa et nous dépassa… nous allons devoir prendre un taxi maintenant… nous allons devoir nous revoir… encore et encore… où… quand… et je me demande déjà pourquoi… cette fille est à moi et n’est pas à moi… elle a besoin de voir l’autre moitié du monde… dont je n’ai pas la carte… ni la boussole…

Est-ce que je l’aime ou pas… je n’en sais absolument rien… ce n’est pas comme si j’avais le choix… des options… les choses sont comme elles sont… telles que nous les voyons…

Je ne peux pas la prendre comme telle et je dois la prendre comme elle est…

Mon téléphone sonne… je le laisse sonner…

Tu ne réponds pas ?

Je connais trop bien le truc… c’est vieux comme le monde… toutes les femmes jouent ce jeu-là… qui suis-je… est-ce que je vis seul… ai-je des enfants… quelqu’un d’autre… la concurrence…

Je ne joue pas à ce jeu… il faudra qu’elle se contente du vieux loup de mer qu’elle a pour le moment… les femmes bâtissent… planifient… projettent… les hommes sont des jardiniers… ils prennent la vie comme elle leur vient… ou du moins la plupart… pas moi…

‘Je pense que nous ferions mieux de nous revoir…

Et bien c’est sympa… nous ferions mieuxle culot de cette fille… mais j’aime ça chez les gens… cela ne me gêne pas… au contraire… cela montre qu’ils ont du caractère… et j’aime les gens qui ont du caractère…

‘Oui… nous ferions biendans ton intérêt… renchéris-je…

T’as intérêt !

in L'Attendre


Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Littérature - Literature

Publié le 16 Décembre 2015

Companies pay over the odds… through the nose… to get the right people to do their jobs… and only end up recruiting the most qualified staff when what they need is the most competent !

They will go to great lengths of effort to find that person who over qualified and not fitted to the job or their organisation…

It’s not how many letters you’ve got after your name that will make you the best candidate… It makes you the best student…

Most employees never take the time to get to know their employer…

The 90s were the years of MBAs… many an American university saw their cash register high sales… claiming to cast the future of their rich and ambitious students in iron… anybody who had any hope in the business world had to have an MBA… yet nobody in their right business mind recruits them today… business is not on paper but out there on the field…

France -with its Grandes Ecoles- has been training and recruiting candidates for the highest national administrative and business positions… people who have too often done nothing better than send their employers to bankruptcy and bled the country dry of all its wealth… when they were not mostly using and abusing the system to their own ends and means… the Educational system is now creating courses by the scores for jobs that now longer exist at worst and recruit very few candidates at best when the nation is begging for staff in areas nobody bothers even to look at !

The French system excels at weighing down and snowing under its staff and tax payers with administrative chores harassing both users and workers all to now avail… workers don’t understand what they’re doing –let alone why- most of the time… when asked they call it… efficiency !

Our society and our businesses would do more than well to cut the clutter !

As business and society evolved we have nothing better than had insult to injury… as if life was all about more complication… and the joke is… the more we claim to simplify the more we complicate !

I always feel sad to see the masses of people who are given no better jobs that spending days doing useless clerical work nobody reads that will no sooner done be shelved lest it be forgotten… or computer programmers underused to add time wasting lines, boxes and links and pages to sites cluttering all the more in the name of information, protection and security…

I once had to coach a top leader in European administration… who was so weighed down by the institution… that she could not see what her skills and qualities were… one SWOT later she was a totally different person.

One of my clients is a top ranking radio station… found their staff were not performing as well as they could… they took advice from a leading international training centre… who in turn told them after their audit that the main issue with the personnel was their high level of stress… and offered them a two-day coaching session at an astronomical price… the radio station signed on the dotted line…

When I asked the person in charge he told me they had been lectured on stress and problems it generated…

What was really need was a few weekly sessions of workshops with the employees to teach them to detect stress and how to deal with it… which would have cost the station one tenth of what they had paid…

Another one of my clients is a national telecom operations leader… facing communication issues among their staff and with the client… they took their advice from a leading university who charged them the earth… to have their managers lectured on communication… all to no avail since nothing was ever implemented from there on… again a few workshops would have done it… at a tenth of the price…

Those people need the job done… not lecturing !

It is not the name or the offer that will get the job done… it is the work done that gets the job done !

What employers need is the right person in the right job at the right time… not some goofy overqualified guy who will tell the tale instead of getting the job done… and will cost them the earth !

Jesse CRAIGNOOU

From Plain Sailing

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Business As Usual

Publié le 14 Décembre 2015

La France a, à nouveau, prouvé qu'elle ne veut plus de l'UMPS !
Les électeurs l'ont montré en votant massivement FN... qui, seul contre 7 autres partis alliés qui ont à peine pu vaincre le parti frontiste !
Une union sacrée... une alliance contre-nature... qui a vu la gauche tracter pour la droite et encourager ses électeurs de gauche à voter pour la droite... pour faire front contre le Front National​ !
Un résultat qui, comme d'habitude au deuxième tour, finit par ne voir aux commandes de la machine France, précisément ceux qu'ont ne voulant pas y voir... par crainte d'y retrouver ceux qu'ont voudrait précisément y voir !


La lâcheté et l'hypocrisie, soeurs siamoises de la politique française d'aujourd'hui, sont de mises... elle s'étaient parées de leurs plus beaux atours... et ont fait, encore une fois, leur travail maléfique de sape... poussant la France toujours plus prêt du gouffre fatidique !
La France de demain, qu'on espérait meilleure que celle d'hier, s'y retrouvera pire... puisqu'elle n'a élu que les déchets et les incompétents qu'elle a prétendu vouloir voir partir... et disparaître à jamais... pour ne les faire que réapparaître de plus belle... en leur taillant la part du lion !

Comme le disait mon père : 'à compter d'aujourd'hui, ç a sera comme d'habitude !'

On efface tout... et on recommence...

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Politis

Publié le 8 Décembre 2015

Everywhere you go you hear people say how little or no time they have and yet… little do they want to acknowledge how much –and so very much- time they’re wasting…

My whole life has been a race against the clock… of beating the clock… but I have a talent for multitasking… an easy task in most cases when you stop and think about it… and again most people do it without thinking… but not always for the better…

As for drinking and driving telephoning and driving is not multitasking… it is merely suicidal for oneself and for others…

If people worked out all the time they waste in useless telephoning they would be shocked to the core… or idling their time away… whiling their life away… wasting their time and life away…

There are just so many things we can do while our hands are busy… we could even help people with music therapy while working…

Before my parents got their dishwasher I was always lumbered with having to do the washing up… and hated it until the day I found out music was on my side… and how ‘a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down’… from then on I was aware of my multitasking skill and went on to use it all the more…

In the country and towns and cities today most people have to commute some distance to work and back… that precious can indeed be well invested in listening to music for pleasure or relaxation… listening to language or other training programmes… car polling with friends and use the time to socialise…

But instead of all that those people waste their time… and they tell me you always do so much or you always know so much… but how do they think I got there ?

I never have enough time despite my multitasking… and would even buy time if it came on offer…

And one thing where multitasking comes in handy is certainly learning…

We learn all the time and should learn all our life…

Times change and the world around us changes constantly whether we like it or not… whether we notice it or not… we have new machines and robots all the time… and systems change all the time… so we need to learn to use them…

Having do to do a lot of commuting myself up to fifty hours a week… I decided I wasn’t going to waste all that time… and put it to good use… a compulsive reader I was always reading… but I discovered that while I was reading I could listen to music to relax… or even when I was too tired to read… listen to an audio book…

Learning means repeating and having an audio support for our studies is a great asset we should never underestimated… our brains listen whether we pay attention or not… and we can learn and study merely by listen again and again passively as much as actively…

Reading and listening and learning while commuting allowed me more time when I was back home to spend on other household activities and the family…

Back home I could enjoy my music while dealing with all the trivia and paper work… we could listen to music or the radio while relaxing together… something the television doesn’t enable you to do… the screen is highly magnetising and eats up all our time and attention…

Multitasking call literally be done everywhere and at all times… one way or another… and save you time and energy… and even lots of money…

Remember… Time waits for no one – Michael JACKSON

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Teaching - Training & Coaching in Words

Publié le 1 Décembre 2015

Hi ! Why is it SO difficult to remove connections ? I have to do it at least twice... and have got better things to do... Tx

SUN 15:33

Hi Jesse, we're sorry to hear you're having issues with removing connections. You shouldn't have to do so twice.

If you're still experiencing this issue, can you email examples to us at https://help.linkedin.com/app/ask/path/ so our support team can look into this further? Thanks!

https://help.linkedin.com/app/ask/path/

help.linkedin.com

SUN 19:27

I'm afraid this is NO HELP at all !

I know how to remove contacts... my problem is LI doesn't remove them !

Were you able to submit a ticket at the link previously provided? If so, what's your ticket number?

Fortunately ! For the rest is useless...

What's your ticket number?

Haven't noticed one...

Might have missed it...

No worries, we can look it up using your email address. Can we get that instead?

jesse.craignou@yahoo.fr

Thanks !

I see we've received your ticket, however to further troubleshoot this, we'll need specific details.

Can you explain how you're removing connections including the steps you're taking, any error messages you receive, the name of the contacts you're having issues with as well as any browsers you've tried.

On my contacts page... I remove them...

Confirming a total waste of time !!!

I have spent two days doing exactly this ! I don't need another reminder of HOW TO...

I'm reporting that it still doesn't work ! Is that so hard to understand ?

You can expect to hear back via email. Thanks for your patience.

Don't bother copying and pasting your 'help(less)' pages... check your site...

Chat conversation end

Just after this I received an email from LinkedIn with all the steps of ‘How To Remove Contacts’ !

There is really no limit to the stupidity and inefficiency of those people… supposed to help members and clients !

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #PlaintesRéclamations et Service Clients

Publié le 25 Novembre 2015

Songs for English lessons
Songs for English lessons

Daft Punk (Beg – PI) – Around The World One More Time

First given the brush off by a British journalist –who did not know he was to give them their new name- the French post-funk duo has become famous for their disco beat songs centered around the techno world… Daft Punk were selected to write the musical score of the sequel to the legendary Disney blockbuster TRON and their song Thechnologic is the music to the Birtish Tech Show programme.

Their songs are based on a basic beat and vocabulary ideal from the beginner up.

They sing in a clear articulate fashion easy to understand and follow.

My track selection includes

  1. On / Off from Human After All
  2. WDPK 83. 7 FM from Homework
  3. The Brainwasher from Human After All
  4. Make Love from Human After All
  5. Around the World from Discovery
  6. Robot Rock from Human After All
  7. Oh Yeah from Homework
  8. Superheroes from Discovery
  9. High Fidelity from Homework
  10. Human After All from Human After All
  11. Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger from Homework
  12. One More Time from Homework
  13. Television Rules The Nation from Human After All
  14. The Prime Time Of Your Life from Human After All
  15. Technologic from Human After All
  16. Steam Machine from Human After All
  17. Too Long from Discovery
  18. Revolution 909 from Homework
  19. Something About Us from Discovery
  20. Digital Love from Discovery
  21. Face To Face from Discovery
  22. On / Off from Human After All

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Teaching - Training & Coaching in Words

Publié le 25 Novembre 2015

Shorty stories involving women
Shorty stories involving women

A woman’s Day is never done they say…

Especially women…

Women have that eerie ability of living many lives in one… which would akin them to cats… and accounts for yet another reason why I know them so well…

A collection of stories to pay tribute to their endeavours…

Jesse CRAIGNOU

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Rédigé par Jesse CRAIGNOU

Publié dans #Littérature - Literature